My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
~ Michael Caine ~

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
~ Samuel Butler ~

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
~ Charlotte Whitton ~

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
~ W.C. Fields ~

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
~ Mel Gibson ~

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.
~ Laurence Sterne ~

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
~ David Niven ~

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
~ Lenny Bruce ~

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
~ Edgar Watson Howe ~

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
~ Groucho Marx ~

From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money.
~ Sophie Tucker ~

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
~ Mae West ~