"In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
~ Sam Ewing ~

"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
~ Phyllis Diller ~

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late."
~ Max Kauffmann ~

"Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."
~ Unknown ~

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
~ Henry Youngman ~

"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."
~ Michel de Montaigne ~

"All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage."
~ Lord Byron ~

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
~ Joey Adams ~

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards."
~ Benjamin Franklin ~

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."
~ Clint Eastwood ~

"They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."
~ Clint Eastwood ~

"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished."
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~

"A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage."
~ Marvin Kitman ~

"I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
~ Marie Corelli ~